Blowfishe's Canonickals, et c.
Lawrence Sterne (1713-1768) had a habit of doing things 200 years before anybody else. "The LIfe and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman"--a comedic memoir that devotes six hundred pages to bullshitting and fortifications--anticipated Pynchon, Heller, Saint-Exupery, and Jerry Seinfeld. Sterne abused nearly every literary convention: he invented his own punctuation and spelling, ruthlessly avoided getting to the point, and drew pictures mid-text to explain his non-linear narratives.
He also anticipated the Canonical List of Blowfish Defenses (see link, right). Sterne came up with these 'uncoventional agumentative techniques,' as used by Tristram's Uncle Toby:
Argumentum Fistulatorum: or, "argument of one who plays upon a pipe." This method involves not responding to your opponent's argument, but annoying them by whistling a tune instead. Uncle Toby liked 'Lillabullero.'
Argumentum Baculinum: or, "argument of the stick." This involves resorting to violence and physically beating your opponent.
Argumentum ad Crumenam: or, "argument directed to the purse." This is any argument which takes advantage of the "avarice or need" of your opponent.
Argumentum Tripodium: or, "argument addressed to the third leg." This is used primarily by women against men; and
Argumentum ad Rem, or "an argument addressed to 'the thing'". That is, any argument by a man that is pitched more or less at vagina-level.
* joshua, 6/14/2004 10:02:52 PM
